Surviving Alone

Sometimes i wish i was born

with full of luck

its not that i don't appreciate the things

i have now, NO

it's just that, it sucks to be alone,

surviving in this world alone

i just wish that, i have a special person

that i can talk with, someone who can really

cheers me up, getting my hopes back up

It drives me crazy in this depression 

i'm not desperate on having someone to love

no, its just that i missed being love that's all,

you know that feeling when you have no one

and you watch all of your friends

have someone to talk with

someone they can be secure with?

yeahh that's what i feel right now

I'm not bragging that i'm a loner son of a bitch,

I'm not desperate to be loved,

i'm just a boy

who needs someone that can fully

take care of my spirits and hopes

I just want to share my problems with someone

and that someone can cheers me up

that's all...'

Complication In Conflict

Love,

it needs time

Trust,

it needs to be earn

Life,

it needs to be happy.

i don't know what's going on with me

a couple of days ago,

i don't know weather i'm really in love .__.

or just another feelings that come and go

the last time that i'm in love

i was hurt after a few months later

now, am i ready to get back in the love game?

i don't know weather what i'm doing now

is right or wrong,

is this the right time to fell in love?

FUCK i hate this -,-

i just want to have an  amazing adventure! =__=

fun fun fun fun~

that's all,

I just hate conflict t-,-

Malaysian's Swag

Life is sweet

We're all fighting for a chance to live,

fighting for something we want to achieve,

something worth for us to live with,

even thought if its a burden..

I missed the things that i used to had

being a non-smoker,

being a kid and never wish to be an adult,

relationships..

its funny that when we grew up,

we have to think all those things,

like, politics, responsibility, love,

survival, news, safety,

and all other bullshit that

we need to take precocious

i used to achieve something real,

well at least i thought it was real..

and when i lost that thing,

i felt, empty

felt like,"what a waste,

i'm like a piece of fuck, ass cunt god damn

pathetic bastard"

i felt down for so long

and it took months to moved on

and getting me back up high..

and i'm proud of myself now

because, i can hold on to what i haven't got,

sometimes we watch the sky,

trying to forget the past,

and we realize that, without the past

we won't learn anything, and we can't

make the best move for our future,

that's why old people said

"history is important, because 

we don't want to repeat what's already

happened in the past"

so, i took all the bitter past that i've

been through, and remind myself not to do the same

mistake just like from the past,

so i could create a sweeter future in life.

Inner peace ya'll

Hyper-Insomnia

Okey first thing i wanna say is

i have trouble in getting to sleep,

and mostly in the middle of the night,

i start to over thinking,

i think about,

life, family, love, and sometimes friends

the thing that bothers me mostly is,

love,

i don't know, maybe,

its just because i'd never felt the real love

you know, the true one?

not some teenage puppy love. 

NO, i'm talking about the real one..

Maybe i'm just tired of break ups,

bullshit puppy love, friends with benefits,

maybe i'm not into those things

maybe i'm just the type of guy,

who wants to be with one girl..

i don't know if that's unusual for guys to be,

as you know.. guys should

have fun, meet girls there and that somewhere

i know, usually guys are like that,

and now, i'm kinda thinking,

why the fuck am i not a guy -,-

i mean, every time i wanna be loyal

with someone, they always

broke my heart =___=

i kept on going and going

still i end up broken

is it my fault?

or is it just another lesson

that i need to learn?

nahh i don't know..

Well, i hope i'll meet her one day

the one that i can be loyal with

the one i can be comfortable with

the one who'll understand me,

I pray, that i'll meet her someday :)

Minzzy, signing out~

A Story Of A Weird Kid

Different people, different life,

i've heard so many stories about people's lives,

some of them are happy, some of them aren't.

it's sad that not all people get to feel happy,

feel getting accepted,

feel special in every way,

maybe that's why the number of suicide case are increasing

people now days are livin in a world of their own

it's true that today people are getting smarter..

they're smart, but their creativity are so low,

they're all lack of understanding and respect

if we want a better future, we need to stop

with this judgment bullshit,

treat special people like a god damn

son of devil.

we need to respect other people's culture!

the truth is, i'm a weird kid,

i dreamed fiction a lot, i imagine things that aren't real

i'm delusional a lot, i love to do weird stuff.

i call it "weird" because that's what

 people now days said,

what society said!

For FUCK sake, that's me

that's who we really are

people like me, or even special then me..

what did we ever do to you (society)  that

made you mock us like we're a god damn alien?

I'm proud that i'm weird,

we special people are proud to be

ourselves ,

Fuck the society that can't accept us,

we don't need to eat your crap judgment, 

we're awesome in our ways.

PEACE OUT~

Wonderwall

I search but never find,

I fell for the wrong person so many times..

i always look up to sky watching the stars in the dark

wondering if my one is watching the same stars

as the one i watch..

i wonder so many things about her.

if only i knew her now,

if only i could get to know her right now

i'm so tired of this solitary moments,

i'm done being sad, lonely and all those bullshit

that i went through in 2012..

i wanna put all those things behind me

and move on to new chapter of life

it's not only love that i seek

i'm also searching for understanding, caring

and people who can accept me for who i am,

it's not just love that i want as you can see..

well, if one day i could meet her

i hope she'll be the last one to love

because i want to feel real this time,

a reason to believe in someone again,

a life..

PUNK!

what is Punk? 

is it the way they dress?

is it the way they listen to punk songs?

or is it just another dark image?

Punk was born in the United State late 70's

Punk is largely characterized by a concern for individual

freedom and anti-establishment views.

People always say to me,

"you just have a spiky hair,

that doesn't mean you're punk,

yeahh sure you wear skinny jeans,

dark shirts, grunge style.. but still

you didn't pears your ear,

you didn't highlight your hair, you're not punk!"

Just because i never highlight my hair,

or pear my ears and lips

doesn't mean i'm not punk.

In people's perspective.

they thought that, if you wanna be punk

you need follow this, follow that,

pears this and that,

 wear leather jackets, old boots

spike there and that..

well.. to me,i don't wanna follow those rules.

i'm still into punk, even though maybe i didn't dress

like one, or even i had spiky hair but i didn't highlight them..

It's not the image that makes you punk

its what you believe what's inside you...

and if you believe and accept

punk society, and you can flow with it.

that's good enough to be a punk..

its not whats on the outside,
what matters is what's on the inside

that make who you really are..

Fighting UFO's with my family??

I had a strange dream just this morning

I dream that the UFO is invading the world .__.

i swear to God i dreamed this

Well it started when me and my family were in a 

mall,

this picture shows you what my family looks like

and we're on our way to get some ice cream if i'm not mistaken xD

and then the UFO started to come and shoot lasers 

towards that ice cream shop

and we're all like,

"WTF?? .__."

it was really weird that, i just saw a UFO

flying above me shooting lasers out of no where

but it's kinda cool after they abduct me and my family

-,-

so basically we're on one their spaceships

and we act kinda normal,

not panicking, not paranoid

we just act like its nothing .__.

we started to walk around the ship like

its a god damn tour..

and then, one of the aliens come at us, well

i didn't have a clear look at it

so i couldn't describe the alien.. sorry -__-  

one thing for sure, after the alien started to talk

my cousin kill it with his own bare hands

and i was thinking, how the fuck he grew strong =__=

So me and my family started to search the control room

so we could take over the spaceship xD

it was my dad's plan by the way~

searching and searching finally we found the control room

we kill some aliens, kick some ass, and we took over the spaceship

blow the other spaceship with the lasers we control

in the ship

and save the World

THE END xD

Confusion and frustration in modern times

Television lies, politic dogs, newspaper denial. war is business.

reality is hard,

we all have our own lives to feed, to survive, to love

to celebrate, to connect, everything..

and everything we do in this world

has a rule that we need to obey..

maybe sometimes we said,

"we need to be ourselves, we don't need to be 

hypocrite!"

you're right.. we need to be ourselves,

but sometimes, society just can't accept who we wanted to be

or who we really are, and we felt scared

because, the people around us could reject us because

what we are, 

felt scared that we'll be lonely

felt scared that we'll be mocked

felt scared of losing hope in life..

It's not our fault that we're all hypocrites,

it's  the societies fault that we feel trap,

feeling down looking at ourselves,

feeling insecure..

The world maybe beautiful at first

but when you're bond with the nature

you can see that, the world is no longer in its beauty

all we see is a world that load with craps, criticize 

people, empathy's a lie, paranoia,and disloyal..

choose~ weather you wanna stay being yourself, 

and accept every criticize from the society

or

you be the pathetic hypocrite that lies to yourself

and be a puppet in this world 

  

Punk's not Dead!

Too many style in this world.. grunge, hipster, metal, 

punk, hip hops, nerd, and the most popular now days are "SWAG".

Different types of people, different types of style

we can't blame them for choosing their own style

it's because that's what they wanted to be.

I maybe hate swag, but i'm not an arrogant person.

you see, i can fit in with anybody, as long as they stay friendly :)

i chose to be punk when i was 15, one of my friends

introduce me to a Punk band call Sum 41 and Blink 182

What attracts me in punk is that

how they dress, how they wrote their songs, how they

 perform, how they had fun, all of that attracts me,

and then i started to play guitar, skateboard a little bit,

starting to dress up like Punk and all that.

I have two Punk idols that i admire

first is "Sid Vicious" and second is "Deryck Whibley"

both of them are Punks.
 Sid is like an old school Punk style, and

Deryck is like a bit modern Punk style..

anyway, what bother me is

I barely see the youth now days

are into a style beside Swag

every time i went out with my friends or family

all i see is Swag, Swag everywhere

damn where's the hardcore? metal? grunge?

are they hiding because society now days can't accept them?

I once heard a young kid say this 

"Metal and Hardcore only lives in the late 80's and 90's,

21'st century couldn't suit that kinda custom"

well kid, Punk's not dead while i'm still alive! 

SID VICIOUS

DERYCK WHIBLEY

Beyond Future's Brain

"Future kills the eldest, Past challenge the youngest"

First of all, i'm not a mother nature tree huger -,-

this is only my opinion about the future and past,

back in my days, kids have fun at the playground,

you know playing the swings, the see saw, tag, hide and seek..

well now days, kids only shut up and focusing on their god damn

tablets, phones, computer, Play Station, internet

and all other technology that kids crazy about.

if you're saying that "heyy min, don't you surf the internet? play games?"

and i said "no" plus you buying it

you must be genius~ 

.

All i'm saying is, the future has change a lot of things

look what happen to the youth now

Swag everywhere.. where's the hardcore?

where's the metal? where's the punk? the grunge?

are they all dead? i feel like i'm the only punk kid who's still alive here..

Sometimes i wonder what will the eldest from the 90's or 80's

say to us if they saw us wuss up like this

where's the natural fun? where's the playground excitement gone?

the future not only kills the fun,

it also infect the youngest with violence and brutality

making them follow a wasted idol.

This is not future, this is Aftermath....

"Learn from the pass, to fulfill a  better future" 

The Broken Past

In 2012, i've been through a lot of crap in my life,

heartbroken, broken friends, depression, paranoid,

delusion..

i feel so insecure sometimes.. and it really bums me out

the future is really exciting , but weather it's going to be

a better future or the other way around.

The truth is, i never expect heartbroken will ever come in 2012,

it's the least thing i expected,

and yet, it happened,

it wasn't easy for me to forget something that i couldn't barely forget.

But we need to move on right?

"The future is scary, but we can't just run back to the past..

yes it's tempting, but it's a mistake"

I just hope one dayi will find someone who can love me back 
just the way i love her

that's all i'm asking, just one person, not two, four, ten.. infinity

no.. just ONE..

The mistakes i've made in 2012 are lesson to me

and i know what my mistakes are,

and i will fix it.

this is the part when i say

"i'm starting new life now, no more same mistake, 

no more broken

no more fall, all i will do is stand up and build up my pride!"

Fiction was bitter, Reality hits hard

It's been a while since i've post a new post in this blog,

i guess, i haven't got much time to wrote down something,

i've stop posting new post since April 2012

after i went through a worst break up ever,

this blog was created late 2011, but i delete

all my old post because, it brings me a lot of

good memories that i want to forget,

In 2012, lot of things happen actually,

i wish i could just wrote down chapter by chapter about it

but, now it's already 2013, so not all people

gives a fuck about 2012 anymore.

I'm just going to write a short story of what happen in 2012

First thing is, i've made a lot of new friends,

i was committed in this one group call

"OBERON gang" for short we just call it "The OB's"

and i've started making new bestfriends

like Danish, Farid, Afiq Tonggek, and Muhd Hafizuddin.

Secondly, i started to smoke Red Marlboro after

my worst break up,. i was too depress that i need

something to clear up my mind. it's an unhealthy way

i know... but, i don't know what else to do,

Thirdly, my social life was kinda level up after 

i started hang out with my new friends, and yeahh it's cool

my style has change a bit, my attitude has change a bit

most of my life has change..

Fourth, i met two friendly girl name Zareth, and Faa 

yeahh they both are one of my closes girlfriends :)

Fifth, Aisyah now has found a new guy that can make her happy,
it's kinda sad that, we both didn't work out
sometimes things just aren't meant to be
and i'm sorry...
and i'm happy for you now seeing that you're really happy :)
Sixth, my friend Aerien.. i don't know weather i should call her sister or something, -,-

i just don't know, but i help her

starting a new life with Danish, and she seems happy :)

so i'm happy for both of them

cause Danish and Aerien means a lot to me

without them, i don't know what'll happen to me :O

and all of my bestfriends has their own relationship

Farid and Adaa, Afiq and Hajah, Hafiz and Hannis,

they're all seems pretty happy,

makes me wish i can find that kinda happiness

maybe one day.. :T

And that's it, about 2012, ohh yeahh and of cause i'm now waiting 

for my SPM result, hope i get good grades and i can

finally continue my studies in University :)

this is minzzy, signing out :)